There is a lot of misunderstanding in our society about why adolescents and adults engage in self-injury or ‘cutting’ behavior. One of the most harmful things one can do to someone who self-injures (or cuts) is to judge them for their behavior.

One of the most important things one can do as a friend and/or family member is to really take time to listen to the person. People who self-injure do so because the pain gets to be too much. This is one way they have to let this pain ‘out.’

If they have shared with you that they cut, it is often times because they trust you. They don’t want to be scorned, yelled at or judged – they just want someone to really listen and care about what they are going through that is causing them so much pain. They want to feel accepted and trust someone with their feelings.

Individuals who cut have also shared that they have feelings of abandonment, isolation and/or are frequently misunderstood. Self-harmers need another human being who will be there to relate to them in an unconditional way.

They need hope and love.